Babies are sweet little bundles of joy but there are definitely moments that can be incredibly stressful when you have or work with a baby! And keeping calm is so important and helpful for a wide variety of reasons. So in this post I want to offer all of you a bunch of my best tips for handling those more stressful moments with with infants.
First, it’s really important to have a little, metaphorical toolbox in your pocket filled with things that can help you work through those stressful moments. This is because it helps keep our babies grounded and therefore makes the situation overall easier to work through.
Another reason that having this toolbox is so important is because (just as Dr. Montessori said about the prepared adult), the way that we respond and handle these situations will in turn affect how our baby responds and handles these situations. So staying calm and present is definitely hard in those more stressful moments, so having some of these tools to help in the moment is incredibly helpful!
Tip #1: Deep Breathing
So there’s actually been a lot of research on breath work and how it can positively affect your brain and how your brain is functioning. When we’re in moments of high levels of stress, changing your breath can actually change the way that you’re feeling. So making a point to focus on your breath, taking deep breaths in and deep breaths out may actually help the way that you’re responding in that situation, help you feel calmer.
So this is one of my favorite things to do. And honestly, it almost feels like a form of meditation. Were you just trying to focus on your breath in that moment and it’s really just a couple of moments of focusing on your breath so you can get back and really focus on, you know, whatever needs to happen in the moment to best help your child.
I found this amazing quote by Antoinette Foy, who said,
“Breathe deeply until the sweet air extinguishes the burn of fear in your lungs.
And every breath is a beautiful refusal to become anything less than infinite.”
Antoinette Foy
Tip #2 Find Your Happy Place
Having a happy place that you can imagine in your mind during those moments of stress is extremely helpful to keeping calm. Find a happy place that brings you pure joy for yourself and keep that image in your pocket to pull it out when you need it. And I mean this figuratively & literally.
For example, I like to think about my happy place. And mine is being in the ocean, diving under a wave & feeling the smooth wave brush through my hair as I glide with the wave. To me, that is a really serene feeling of a oneness with the sea. And so I picture that moment whenever I need a mental escape for a few seconds to feel that inner peace that I feel when I am physically present in the sea.
Your happy place can be a mental image that you think about whenever you need, but it can also be a physical picture as a reminder! It can be amazing to have a photo on your fridge, or maybe even the screensaver on your phone, to help you get to that place in your head for a couple of seconds.
Tip #3 Change Your Environment
One of the biggest tips that I have for both you and baby is an environment change. And that can mean going into a different room. That can mean walking down the hall, and that can mean stepping outside.
Stepping into a new environment can almost mentally be like stepping into a new situation. And so even if you’re still dealing with something from the previous moment, it can trigger in your mind something positive because we’re stepping into something new and we’re dealing with whatever it is in that moment.
So that’s one of the biggest tips that I have. And actually one that I found really, really, really helpful in my experience. Taking a couple steps into the next environment, if at all possible, could really help you and baby within that moment.
(Of course there are times when we have to meet their needs before this is possible, but an environment change can be an amazing tool to getting into a happy flow of your day after the moment!)
Tip #4 Go Outside
Nature has always been a happy, peaceful place for me where I end up feeling so rejuvenated after being immersed in nature. I found this amazing study where researchers aimed to study the effect of nature on stress levels.
And it came out that spending just 20 minutes a day can positively affect stress response levels. And so I will have this link for you below, but essentially I cannot recommend this tip more. I have personally felt like this was one of the best tips there was before I even found this study. I’ve been using this tactic for a lot, a lot of years, and it really works. So I definitely suggest it.
When I was in the classroom, there were moments when all the babies were feeding off of each others energy and (even when all of their needs were met) they were just in that energy. But once we got outside, everything changed without fail. To the point to where I consciously used getting outside and going on nature walks in our school buggy as a tool for those moments where everyone is antsy and needs a breathing moment.
Tip #5 Play Music, Dance, and Sing
Getting on the floor with your baby or your classroom of infants and just breaking out into song is something I have found to be really, really helpful. I mentioned in our music episode that there’s actually research on singing and stress levels before and after singing and after singing. The 2017 study showed that it did reduce stress levels. And breaking out into song can not only help you, it can help your baby in those moments. Also, because they’re so drawn to our voice and drawn to the way that we fluctuate & move within our songs.
And while singing is amazing, playing music and breaking out your best dance moves is also amazing for helping get past those more intense moments during the day. And the type of music you play can definitely have an impact on the mood as well. If the mood is chaotic and you’re hoping to calm, it may make sense to play music that relates to the mood you are hoping to achieve. Whereas if you want the energy to stay up but be happy, play some dancing music and get your groove on!
Pro Tip: Use All Of These
I will honestly say that for myself, the combination of doing some deep breaths, focusing on something joyful or pulling that happy place image into my mind is really helpful for those stressful moments of where I need to react to best help the child. Taking those breaths as I approach the situation, thinking of my happy place, and then getting outside, or singing & dancing, even just moments after those moments is incredibly helpful.
And so I hope these tips are able to help you during those moments when things are maybe a tad bit more stressful during your day! Always remember, your peace matters. We should place importance on that because our babies are learning from us. And modeling these tools is also amazing for their development because they will learn to approach these types of stressful situations with the tools that we have shown them as they were growing. 🙂
I hope this article can fill your metaphoric toolbox with helpful tips to keeping calm during moments of stress with your sweet baby.
Xoxo,
Bianca, Your Baby Tour Guide